Fear Not Tomorrow, God Is Already There

Excerpt

Trust at My Doorstep

Chapter One

It had been a difficult few months. One of my children was struggling, and I didn't know how things would play out. I was anxious, frightened, and continually preoccupied. I could imagine what might be ahead. The questions were relentless: What could I have done differently? Was it my fault? What could I do to change it? How could I protect my child? Was there another step I could take? I felt as if I were being sucked under by a whirlpool of scenes, conversations, and hypothetical outcomes. I lost weight. I battled headaches. I felt like I was constantly vibrating. The fear was overwhelming.
 
This particular day, the postman arrived at my door with a padded envelope. It was addressed to me in familiar back-slanted handwriting-something from Mother. Feeling the envelope, I knew it was too light to contain a book. What could it be? My birthday was still a long way off. As I tore at the flap and reached inside, I took hold of what felt like a long, narrow picture frame. Pulling it out, I stopped for a moment and stared. It was the framed print from the wall in front of Mother's desk. In black calligraphy bordered by a flowering vine I read the familiar words: "Fear not tomorrow, God is already there."

Instantly, I was transported back to the mountain home of my childhood in Montreat, North Carolina. My mother's plain wooden desk flanked by a tall chest of drawers and a bookcase took up much of one wall in her room. Always lying open on the desk, surrounded by various reference materials, was her well-marked, dog-eared Bible. On the wall above the desk hung a collection of precious photographs and artifacts: a crown of thorns woven for Mother by the head of the Jerusalem police, a slave collar given to her by Johnny Cash, a rude wooden cross fashioned by my brother Franklin, photographs of loved ones and of those for whom she was praying. Centered above these mementoes was the print I now held. I'm not sure where Mother got it or who gave it to her, only that I cannot remember a time when it wasn't hanging there like a banner.

I imagined my mother standing on a chair in front of the desk, reaching to take the print off the wall. Sending me such a gift was just like Mother. All my life, since I left home for boarding school in the ninth grade, she had been sending me letters filled with encouragement from the Scriptures-bits of what she was learning in her own study time or wisdom for some situation I might be facing. Now here she was identifying with my mother's heart, sending me a poignant reassurance. We had not talked much about the circumstances of my struggle. Mother just intuitively knew I might need something like this-a reminder that God was working in our lives and that He cared about our future. I appreciated her sensitivity.

From FEAR NOT TOMORROW, GOD IS ALREADY THERE by Ruth Graham.  Copyright (c) 2009 by Ruth Graham.  Reprinted by permission of Howard, a Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.